You know what's Fucked Up?

Different Habits, Different Transitions

There are varying levels of difficulty when it comes to changing old habits or adding new ones.  I found not playing video games relatively easy.  On the other hand, using my schedule book was at least 5x more difficult.  It takes more skill to manage your time effectively and obviously my skill level is not where I want it to be.

A major part of growing comes down to:  self-awareness, self-discipline, planning, and preparation.   I know this because the moments I strayed from my goals, I can track it back to forgoing one of these.

Does it suck to know I didn't always accomplish my goal?  Yes.  To tell you the truth it feels terrible, even worse to admit on here.  lol.

[Side Note:  You know what's Fucked Up?
Being 30 and realizing you don't have your shit together.
Sometimes I wonder, how did I ever accomplish anything in the past?

When I did, it was probably more the result of blind ambition.

A runaway car with no driver, zigzagging off the starting line, bursting to the finish.
No direction.  Just a lot of gas to burn.

As a kid, school was the only source of structured time for me.
Period. Period. Study Hall. Lunch.  Period.  Period.
I was the kid who started 15 page papers the night before they were due.
I'd "study" for a test the period before.
I remember, actually, being terrified of graduating college because
life would no longer be "structured."

Fucked up is
Being 30 and realizing you're having to learn:
self-awareness, self-discipline, planning, and preparation.
Skills you haven't mastered.]

New habits I will keep managing:

-No video games.  My interested in video games has wilted to zero.
-Exercising.  I will continue exercising at least once a day.  Might even post a video.
-Blogging.  1 post a week is still a can do.

New challenges to pursue next month:

1.  Expand on using my schedule book to plan my week and month.  Will also keep track of how long it takes me to do various tasks throughout the day.  (I don't think I've ever done this in my life lol.  I know I have to keep practicing.  This is the foundation of developing all other good habits.)
2.  No deep fried foods (Throwin' in an easy goal so I can feel good about myself lol)
3.  Save personal leisure time for weekends (internet surfing, watching MMA fights, etc.)

No Control over my Weekends

I just realized that I've been slacking on the 3rd Challenge - "Use my schedule book EVERY day."

Here's the thing...I haven't been using it on the weekends.  Weekends are when everyone is home together and plans just seem to get thrown together.  It didn't even enter my awareness at first.  I guess this is because I had subconsciously only considered M-F the only days that were my own.

I thought I had been using it everyday.

Just a realization.  Now I gotta do something about it.

No Video Games, No problem

No video games Day 16 of the challenge.

At this rate I feel like I'll never want to touch video games again lol.  I've been thinking something for a while that I want to share with you...

Just as with any leisure activity, I don't think there's anything inherently "wrong" with video games.

I've been thinking, however, that the high one gets from "beating" a game can be used as a psychological substitute for lack of achievement in your "real" life.  I think this is because we don't often set small little goals in real life that we can check off and take a moment to feel good about.

September 30 Day Challenge

September's First Week is Done.

I'd consider this first week mildly successful.  Because the first 30 day challenge to exercise every day went relatively smoothly (emphasis on relatively), I decided to step it up this month with 3 challenges.  Woot! 

Again...I've come to realize that I can be overly optimistic when setting goals.  There were obstacles along the way I just didn't foresee - almost all having to do with using my schedule book.

My three September 30 Day Challenges:
1.  No video games - Easy.
2.  Blog at least once a week - Easy.
3.  Use my schedule book EVERY day - Hard.

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1.  No video games?  Easy.  I usually play video games on the iphone at night right before bed.  It's my winding down ritual.  (My favorites, btw, are tower defense games and poker.)  Whenever I found myself mentally looking for the iphone out of habit, I'd catch myself and take a time out instead.  I'd remind myself, "What did I promise myself this month?".  Oh yeah, that's right...no video games. After 4-5 nights of this mental back and forth, I found myself not even wanting to play on the phone anymore.

2.  Blog once a week?  Easy.  As I write this now it's my second time this week.  There are 168 hours in one week.  Finding 1 or 2 hours to blog isn't difficult.

3.  Use my schedule book EVERY day?   Hard.  Sure, I could simply glance at my schedule book every morning, forget about it all day, and call that using it.  But I want to effectively use the book.

I think the BIGGEST challenge is getting confused when I happen to miss one of my scheduled tasks.  Do I just forget about it?  Where do I fit it in the missed task?  I admit, there were a couple times when I just told myself to forget about it.  Yes, I failed.  There was only one time when I really pushed myself to finish the task at an alternate time.

I feel terrible whenever I miss a task because:

- I forgot.

- The preceding task took longer than expected.

- Something totally unrelated came up and distracted me.

(Don't even get me started on how structured my weekends are.) 

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My goal for next week is to:
- make time for transition periods between tasks
- take more accurate records of how long it actually takes me to do things
- force myself to reschedule tasks that I miss

First 30 Day Challenge Review

Quick Recap: I missed a workout on Day 26 (August 29) because I was out all day with the family and didn't get back till way late.  Well, to make up for it I did two work outs on the next day, Day 27.  It wasn't easy.  On Day 27 after I finished the 1st workout I almost convinced myself I didn't have to do the 2nd one, but I did it anyway.

A Loss of Motivation after Day 30

Going into September, I found that my motivation to workout waned.  At first I was confused.  Then I remembered that my original intent had only been to workout 30 days straight.  I realized I needed a more expansive reason to keep on exercising.  My new reason: to maintain a healthy body so I may extend the time I have with family and loved ones.

Onward to September 30 Day Challenge!

Let's hope I'm not getting too overzealous here, but I'm challenging myself to do 3 things this month.

My new monthly challenges are:
-No video games  -- I sometimes waste time on the Iphone.
-Blog at least once a week
-Use my schedule book EVERY day -- I've had this schedule book since January but have only used it sporadically.