Guilt.

For a reason I can't remember now, I stopped writing 1 post a week.  It was probably some lame excuse like "Oh not tonight...another night...maybe tomorrow..."

That thing called Guilt

I feel/felt terrible about it.  I had it going so good for about 2 months.  I wanted to change.  I was starting to change.  Then I "spilled the milk."  And I cried about it too (internally/metaphorically speaking).  These negative feelings chained me down and like a snowball rolling down a hill...they kept building over time.  Each day I put it off, the thought of starting up again felt worse and worse.  Each day, that emotional quicksand called guilt crept 1 inch higher - it was paralyzing.  I finally gave myself a swift kick in the butt to get started again.  My breathing is getting lighter just writing this.

Well...guess momentum is a law of nature not limited to physics.  And it's going to take more practice to change certain limiting ADHD habits.  For now, I'm going to tell myself that it's ok to be human.